Dropping Self-Contradiction

and finding (more) freedom

Are you familiar with self-contradiction?

It is a behavior pattern expressed in words in which we say that we have to do something and not do something at the same time. But the pattern is almost always hidden. And the effects of this hidden and unconscious self-contradiction can be quite painful and limiting.

Though it is not something that is commonly spoken about nor named, if you can recognize its many forms and let go of the pattern, I believe that you can create more freedom and choice in your life.

One of the reasons that I am interested in it, apart from my desire to be freer myself and to help others become freer is that many gurus, including Moshe Feldenkrais, actually used this pattern to highly negative effect.

In the case of Feldenkrais, I do not think he was doing so on purpose, he simply did not understand what he was enacting in the realm of language. As the pattern is still hidden from virtually all of his students nearly 40 years after his death, I believe it is time to see it and let it go.

Self-Contradiction Examples.

Before we get to examples form Moshe, let’s start with some simple examples from other contexts and work from there.

Have you noticed that flight safety instructions on airplanes use pictures to teach without words? The creators of the instructions want anyone to be able to understand them just from seeing the pictures, regardless of what language they speak.

But it was not always that way. Here is my recreation of an older written flight-safety instruction with a built-in contradiction:

If it is impossible for you to read these emergency instructions, please speak to an attendant.

Do you see it?

If it is impossible for someone to read the instructions, they will not be able to read the instruction to speak to a flight attendant. They have to be able to read the instructions to know they should talk to an attendant.

The self-contradictory statement below can fit the titles of tens of thousands of self-help books and seminars:

Stop listening to other people and be your own authority!

Do you see the contradiction?

The book or seminar leader is an outside authority (or at least trying to be one) telling people to stop listening to outside authorities.

It would be more accurate to say “Stop listening to outside authorities, except for me!”

How about this one abstracted from various communications of Moshe:

You need to be more independent. Stand up for yourself!!

Be more independent!

That statement is a command.

If a person follows the command he is not being independent but is being dependent and following the order.

Feldenkrais would often say that the work was not about improving movement but about creating “more flexible brains.” He would make the point, directly and indirectly, hundreds of times in his trainings and workshops. For example,

“If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times, it is not about the movements!” Feldenkrais at the Amherst Training.

It is not about the movements! To him, it was about becoming more mature and independent.

But you have to accept that his definitions and ideas are the correct ones. Be independent…but think the way that he thinks.

These are contradictions that run through decades of his work and that of his students who are copying his behavior and language without understanding what they are doing.

Again, I am not criticizing him nor the work.

I love Feldenkrais.

I use it daily.

And I have been teaching aspects of it for decades.

However, I am criticizing *some* of Moshe’s behavior and language patterns. And I am pointing out some of the unrecognized limitations of how he taught.

The Certification Contradiction

Moshe also created a certification program.

If the work is not about the movements, as he said, but about maturity and independence, what exactly was he certifying? Was he certifying that people were mature and independence??

Can independence be certified?

NO.

Skills can perhaps be "certified." But how can an external authority certify that you are independent?

Think about it: If I needed someone to certify my independence and give me a certificate of "independence" that would be a sign that I was dependent on the certification and certifying body.

It is self-contradiction in action.

Am I making some sense here?

Systemic Self-Contradiction

These distinctions might seem comical or abstract, but my experience is that they can be psychologically and intellectually deadly and the effects last a lifetime for many people.

For example, in the Feldenkrais Guild, hundreds of people work as “assistant” trainers. And many are attempting to become “independent” Feldenkrais trainers.

Does not sound so bad, right?

Do some work, follow a process, and become a trainer.

Here is the process: A person has to spend 20 years or more demonstrating their dependence on the senior trainers and getting their approval. Demonstrate competence in teaching Feldenkrais - yes - but also demonstrate that they will not criticize Moshe Feldenkrais, the work, the history of the Feldenkrais Guild, or its limitations.

And once conformity and dependence have been demonstrated (again over at least 20 years) a person might be able to become a certified Feldenkrais trainer. So when they have sufficiently demonstrated their dependence they get a certificate of independence!

An additional punchline is that Feldenkrais trainers cannot independently create their own training programs. They can only be hired to work in other people’s programs. It takes another 10 years or more to become a “senior” trainer who can then organize programs.

That is 30+ years of dependently following someone else’s rules and regulations.

One hell of a demonstration of one’s dependence!

Can we see it in ourselves?

My goal here is not to criticize anyone as a person.

We all exhibit these patterns.

And sometimes they are appropriate.

But I do want people - YOU - to begin to see and let go of the contradictions.

But feel free to take your time about it and do it in your own way and in a way that supports your development as a person.

If you want to.

It’s up to you.

Self-contradiction is just one of many language and behavior patterns that we will be covering in future essays. For example, in self, families and organizations there are painful, hurtful, and hidden patterns of paradox, double-binds, self-negation, and hierarchy.

Hierarchy is of particular problem in the Feldenkrais Guild because the original professional organization was not a skill-based hierarchy. The original self-anointed trainers had little demonstratable skill doing Feldenkrais. They had never taken anyone through the process of teaching others to become practitioners. But Moshe had died and they got ahold of his trademarked terms and declared themselves to be “trainers.” And that led to a holy mess of myth-making, legal shenanigans and outright lying about Moshe, the history, and the work. In the absence of skill, they created a mythology to justify what they were doing. I wrote of this in more detail in Feldenkrais Trainer: No Competency Requirement.

Regardless of what you think about the history, I am asking you here to see the pattern of self-contradiction and decide where it applies.

Become aware of it.

When you see what is hidden from others, you can create more freedom and options in yourself.

It is easy to see the pattern in others. But it is a bit harder to see it in ourselves.

Once you see it externally and get a better handle on it, you can (potentially) see it in your thinking and actions. It is good to notice our personal contradictions because we can change our own actions and behavior. We can usually not change the self-contradiction of others. (Though sometimes, we can help them become aware of and change them.)

Healing Self-Contradiction

So, what about our own self-contradictions?

Do you have one or more of your own coming into view?

They can be invisible at first and you can take your time about noticing them. Your unconscious mind will bring them to your attention when you are ready.

I will tell you about one of my own.

Writing on this substack account is part of my process of noticing and letting go of my self-contradictory behaviors. I am creating a space away from my main website and products. You may know that I have been teaching, sharing, and selling Feldenkrais sessions online for many years. I also have some relatively new courses.

I think Feldenkrais is good work.

I like it.

I want more people to do it and know it.

But I believe that it is taught and understood in a very limited and linear manner. “Do the work and become mature and aware” seems to be the core idea of Moshe and his students.

Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if life were that simple!

But “maturity” is not an object. It is not a rigid category that fits all people and situations. Ideas of maturity change depending on the person and his or her culture and life experiences. There is no epistemologically privileged position where anyone can judge or otherwise define what maturity is or should be for another person. It is personal and subjective.

Here on Substack, I am attempting to integrate my ideas on maturity and independence not only with Feldenkrais’s written ideas about them but also with the work itself - the physical work - the movements - and my ideas about them.

It is a challenge.

This is a space to talk about the ideas. Perhaps get some feedback from you and other readers and eventually get the distinctions into my Feldenkrais-based series.

Is it a self-contradiction that I teach “Feldenkrais” and also teach about the limitations of the man and the work?

I do not think so.

I am saying that Feldenkrais sessions can lead to greater freedom and independence, but not in the way that Feldenkrais taught. And not if a person is part of a formal Feldenkrais professional organization.

I believe that is NOT a self-contradiction, but letting go of one.

Though, I could be wrong.

What do you think?

I will write about others in future essays.

My apologies in advance for anything that I have written in an unclear manner. This is my first time getting these ideas into a written format to share them with others.

I will do better next time.

Ryan